Identity-Based Bullying: What It Is and What We Can Do About It

Discussion questions can be useful in introducing students to key vocabulary and themes before diving into deeper learning. It is important that young people understand what bullying and identity-based bullying are before engaging in activities to deepen their learning.

• Elementary Questions:  
  • How do you think someone feels when they are teased or treated unkindly? 
  • What does the word “bullying” mean? 
  • Sometimes people are unkind to others because of things like how they look, what they believe, or where their family comes from. Has anyone ever heard of that happening? What do you think it means? 
  • Why do you think it’s important to learn about identity-based bullying? 
• Secondary Questions:  
  • How would you define bullying? 
  • What do you think identity-based bullying means? 
  • How do you think identity-based bullying impacts someone who experiences it? 
  • Why is it important that we both talk about and call out identity-based bullying? 

Sharing definitions at the start of a lesson allows all students to enter into conversation from a space of shared language, and to help avoid miscommunications and misunderstandings.

• Bullying is defined as repeated actions or threats of action directed toward a person by one or more people who have (or are perceived to have) more power or status than their target in order to cause fear, distress or harm. 
• Identity-based bullying refers to any form of bullying related to the characteristics considered unique to a person’s identity (or perceived identity), such as their race, religion, sexual orientation or physical appearance.   
• Allyship: Being an ally means noticing when someone is being treated badly (through name-calling, exclusion or bullying) and doing something safe and kind to help, even if you don't personally know the person being targeted. 

It is important when engaging in conversations that can bring up challenging memories, ideas or topics to ensure that ground rules/norms are in place to ensure that students are able to safely engage in challenging topics, and reinforce the idea that there is a difference between discomfort and safety in learning. If your classroom already has ground rules in place, remind students of them prior to the conversation. If your classroom has not yet established ground rules for discussions, consider a resource like Can We Talk? to do so before this learning. 

Books and articles offer an entry point for learners of all ages into difficult topics. By discussing characters, rather than lived experiences or real people, students are able to safely engage with challenging topics and discuss fictional examples rather than reliving traumatic experiences, making up experiences or citing examples from friends or family members. Organizations like Doing Good Together offer curated book lists, like Picture Books About Bullies, Bystanders and Being Kind. For older students, articles and longer-form texts can offer similar entry points: sharing statistics, new information and perspectives without asking students to call upon their own experiences.

• Elementary: Pick a book to read as a class. (Consider choosing one from Doing Good Together’s Picture Books About Bullies, Bystanders and Being Kind). After reading the story, discuss the book with questions like: 
  • What happened in the story? Can you tell it in your own words?  
  • How do you think the character felt when they were being bullied?  
  • What could the character in the story have done differently?  
  • If you saw bullying happening, what are some safe ways you could help? 
  • Who are the people you can go to in our school if you see bullying happening or if it happens to you? 
• Secondary: Provide students with an article like Edutopia’s What is Identity-Based Bullying? or a book like Dear Bully: Seventy Authors Tell Their Stories edited by Megan Kelley Hall (recommended grades 9-12), Aviva vs. the Dybbuk by Mari Lowe. After students read their article or book, engage in a conversation with questions like: 
  • What happened in this article or book? Summarize the key events and who was involved. 
  • How do you think the target of the bullying felt, both in the moment and afterward? 
  • What role did bystanders play in this situation? What options did they have? 
  • What systems, attitudes, or biases in the wider community or society might allow this kind of bullying to continue? 
  • What is the difference between being a passive bystander and an active ally? What might that look like in our school? 

Educators are often looking for ways in which young people can practice responding to challenging situations like bullying and identity-based bullying. Scenarios offer a safe way for students to discuss options to respond and act as allies, without the potential for emotional harm that simulation activities bring. 

• Elementary:  
  • For Grades K-2: Traffic Light Activity—Stop. Think. Go: Every student will have 3 cards or squares of color paper (red, yellow and green). The teacher will start by reading a scenario (an incident of bullying), followed by ONE possible response. After each possible response is read, students will hold up the colored card that they think best matches the response—red=stop, that’s wrong (WRONG OPTION); yellow=I’m not sure (GET HELP); green=yes! That’s an upstander! (STAND UP). After each response, let students share why they chose their color but emphasize that there isn’t right or wrong, just thinking about how they can be upstanders. Scenarios (for teachers). 
  • For Grades 3-5: Being an Upstander—Four Corners: After each scenario is read, students will go to the numbered corner that most closely aligns with how they would respond. (A not for teachers: if students ask, explain that they should pick the action they would do first OR that most closely aligns with the action they would take.) Scenarios (for teachers—we would recommend either writing the scenarios on the board or projecting them through PowerPoint so students can both see and hear the options). 
• Secondary:  
  • Provide students with the resource 6 Ways to Be an Ally. Read through the strategies and clarify any misunderstandings. 
  • Then, break students into small groups and give each group a scenario from the Identity-Based Bullying Scenarios, and a copy of the Identity-Based Bullying Handout. Allow each group to talk through their scenario and utilize the 6 Ways to Be an Ally to create an action plan to stand up to bullying. 
  • Allow each group to share their action plans and allow the class to share any additional ideas. Alternatively, have students write their action plans on chart paper and have the class engage in “chalk talk” where groups rotate and respond in writing to the ideas of their classmates. 

Short-form videos offer a unique opportunity for educators: they are a short and engaging way to introduce students to complex and challenging topics, like that of identity-based bullying. It is important that any viewing of a video is accompanied by discussion to allow young people to process, reflect on and ask questions about the topic and their learning. Below, find age-appropriate video and discussion recommendations to allow students to learn about and discuss identity-based bullying. 

• Elementary: Videos: Sesame Street—Don't Be a Bully (2:18); PBS Kids--Arthur the Bully (2:00); if you have more time: Sesame Street—The Good Birds Club (14:03) 
  • What happened in the video? Who was being treated unkindly? 
  • How do you think [character being bullied] felt? What clues told you (face, voice, body)? 
  • Did anyone help? What else could someone have done? 
  • What is the difference between teasing that is playful and teasing that hurts? How can you tell? 
  • What can we do as a class to make sure everyone feels safe and welcome? 
• Secondary: Sandy Hook Promise—How to Stop Bullying (2:31); Burger King - Bullying Jr. (2:55); Human Rights Campaign & ADL—Centering Youth Voices: Addressing Identity-Based Bullying (9:20) 
  • How is bullying based on identity different from a conflict between two people? Why might it hurt in a different way? 
  • How can jokes, memes, slurs, and "casual" comments make identity-based hate seem normal? Why does that matter? 
  • Why can hurtful jokes or "just kidding" comments still cause harm, even when the person saying them doesn't mean to be cruel? 
  • What makes it hard to speak up when you see someone being treated unfairly? What might make it easier? 
  • What could our class or school do to make sure every student feels they belong?